HUNK OF THE FORTNIGHT OF IT
PAPARAZZI REPORTING:TWO days back,in order to combat the sheer prevailance of insane vindictivity and boredom,which are now a days flavouring INDIATIMES.CHATa contest was held ,to find the HUNK OF THE FORTNIGHT:))MADAM CHEEKU-MILKSHAKE kindly agreed 2 act as judge ,jury and even jallad for the contest.She is a fine lady and miss Sebia's accomplice in various kinda offences or crimes.The first day they met on IT they managed to slaughter MR.CREEPINGKING in to tiny cahoots.Miss Sebia was the chief organizer of the contest.I dont think she needs any introduction.she is an enigma in her own self.MISS Mesmerizing -eyes was the cake and the stake of the contest.The rules were simple.yet the stakes were high.The winner was to be crowned.Hunk of the fortnight....and for 14 days all the girls of IT were to shower him with all kinda attention...(what else a red blooded male frog..sorry.mortal can dream of in this virtual world.)So with great devotion and fervor they started the CONTEST after the formal speeches. They started the mantras and shlokas ...stating that whoever will enter the room exactly after the last shlok will qualify for the peagent...so they started chanting~~oo00 holy fires,help us 2 quench the desirelet the hunk of the dream falls frm the sky above2 make our virtuality a beautiful stream.~~After a lot of futile tries and cries,and lots of attempted cheating by MR MARK and his passion for crime,and lots of witless taunts from MR mean- GUY some body finally entered the room It was MR PRANAV -1982 whose basic mantra of existance is ,not 2 leave any stone unturned in the art of flirtation so he was immediately grabbed and hurled towards the stage.now the onus was on him to prove his worth.4 simple questions .And if he scores above 20 he was to be crowned and he gets to select a queen,which he promptly selected as MISS MESMERIZING EYES so much was he mesmerized.that with great difficulty we had to drag the drowned hunk out of his dreamy reveire.Miss mesmerizing eyes asked the first ques:--------who is your favourite girl on IT and why ...give 3 reasons?sebia(so he was politely informed...taking other girls names can be a road to crucification by the EXPECTED QUEEN to be)give 3 reasons for ur choice?1,she is clean2,she is mean3,she walks around with a sword of damocles in her hand...ready to strike....so hence forth enough entertainment for all ITZENS:2nd ques was asked by smbdy else:--who is the most boring girl on IT?sebia.....:0)reasons ;;;;;1,she is clean2,she is mean3,she walks around with a sword in hand slashing every attempts of flirtation.....(for which he received lots of glares frm miss SEBIA)Our JUDGE AND JALLAD OF THE DAY miss CHEEKU-wasn't getting much impressed by his answers so he was told promptly to change his style or otherwise we might have to kick him out,but as MR PRANAV calls miss cheeku as DII, with all the politeness ,miss cheeku was lil biased towards him,so he got scot free.3rd,ques was asked by miss sebiaif u are to judge between ur girll friend and ur car whom would u select and why?ans,i will select my grl1,Cuz she doesnt need petrol,.just sm love lines,and for that i dont need to spend alot of money.(how kunjoos)2,she can blabber on and on and on,and i can sleep while she is still yappping(now i know ...why my bro always sleep while i talk
.3,last but not the least...if i menage to zonk her,or im bored,i can always get a new one without spending a fortune(for this specific reason all the girls present there wanted to slaughter him)last ques was asked by MISS CHEEKU--THE JALLAD AND JUDGE and it was the most important question the whole decision depened on how he answered that.The air of the room was palpating with excitementand the thrill to see is he going 2 make it or not4rt,ques wasIf u are to select between your mom and your girl whom would u select and why?ans.....my girlwhycuz 1,i can take care of my mom and i want smbody to take care of me in my old age.2,if i make her happy she will make me and my mom happy in return.3,she cms with dowry.Every body was looking at MISS CHEEKU-MILKSHAKE for her axe to fall with baited breath.and BINGOOOOOOO!;;;;;HE WON THE CROWN.........immediately he was taken to the thrown and amidst all fanfair he was crownedHUNK OF THE FORTNIGHT OF IT. He immediately ran to claim the hand of his cheese cake tht was at stake ,akaMISS MESMERIZING EYES,which was granted to him.For 15 days,he was allowed to flirt with her on IT.After that she can kick him for all the indecent and cheesy behaviour.Before wasting a single moment he asked for her yahoo id.which was politely declined.(good move girl)Then he smooched the queen for the sake of PAPPARAZI.CLICK ...CLICKCLICKTHE MOMENT WAS FROZEN IN THE HISTORY OF IT.but the smooch jolted the walls of IT, and all the fans of MISS MESMERIZING EYESstarted pouring in 2 yaar dost international room screaming abt the cruelty of fate and destiny.with great difficulty the organizers managed to prevail some peace there.and for 14 days MR PRANAV KUMAR AND MISS MESMERIZING EYES will be hounded by papparazii.all their moves and conversations will be recorded for the entertainment of all ITZENS:))AND all girls r requested 2 shower MR PRANAV KUMAR with all the attention.let him bask in his 12 minutes of fame errr 14 days of fame i mean
~~~~ THE END~~~
So here was the telecast by MISS SEBIA. the papparazii,chief reporter...
AND for all of u who missed the contest and wanna take part in it pls send ur resumes as soon as possible to miss Sebia(shh bribes are allowed).cuz after 10 days they will hold another contest any time any where surprise and excitement is the name of the game.
Posted by sebia ::
1:37 PM ::
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SHOCK INTENSIFIED...FROZEN REALITY
There are times ,when u see things ,and then u cant connect to them ,things happen infront of u ,but cant be registered in ur mind, or in other words your mind refuses to register them, because of the shock value attatched to that particular happening.
Some days back we went for a dinner,a nice and cozy resturant on the beach side, with huge glass windows ,very beautiful scene outside, the height of tranquility and serenity.Then i look out from the other window it was opening on the highway.So much traffic so much crowd ,it seems everybody was running for something ,or from something.
Just sitting there i was looking at the stark difference between 2 sides of the scenary ,1 side weaving a sense of serenity and tranquility ,and other a sense of rush,urgency and chaos ,everybody was running 2 reach at there designated spot.
THUDDD..BANG..DUSHHHHHHH....and then so many horns and screams..................
A car at the speed of 120 ,just banged in the pole,
its an every hour happening ...... but somehow i was witnessing it for the first time,live,from so much of close proximity.
,... ...So holding my breath .. prayed for the life of the motorist
Dear GOD help him pls....keep him safe ...bless him...........
He came out ... all intact without a scratch...walking on his own 2 feet .....
OH GOD!!!!!!! THANX ALOT!!! i heaved a sigh of relief and mustered my prayers .
Then he was rubbing his chest... ...he must have banged his chest to the steering wheel...poor guy!!!! i thought
And then suddenly ..............,he was on the road ..........lying there, on the hard ground.....and his body was jerking violently.............shaking so badly.
After that......... i witnessed a sudden silence ...his body got still...no movement ...nuthing ,lying there just like a vegetable.
The scene was paused ...everything stood standstill ,may be it was for a fraction of second ,but world ceased 2 function ........................for that particular instant.
Death with its ugly claws ,snatched another life ,took away the longing to live,the wish 2 reach the destined place the passion for existance.
The man who smhow menaged to bypass the accident,scratch free.....................................died because of the heart attack .....!!!!!!!
Because his breaths were numbered how could he breathe another breath ...
I was stunned,shocked 2 see the least my brain couldnt register ,that how can somebdy who was so alive ,and talking, can just b reduced in 2 the heap of mass and bones ,without the spark of reality ,in just 1 moment.
How strong and resourceful we think of ourselves ,but we just cant fight destiny and fate no matter how far on the ladder of success and knowledge ,human beings can climb ...we still cant and can never master the death and destiny, it will strike whnever and wherever it wants to
We are,but the puppets and pawns in the game of chess.................thats our reality.
Posted by sebia ::
10:42 PM ::
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DRIVE ME NUTS
Those were the first letters,i learnt in my childhood.Coming from the family of car freaks ,where CARS are considered 2 be more human then the shallow mortals, and where MICHAEL SCHUMACCHER is displayed with the likes of all holy saints (if my mom is allowed she would definately like to indulge in 2 AARTY CEREMONY for him every day) ,these were the basic mantras of existance.
I dont know who is more impressed by whom, my father with his BALLILAAS or AMITABH with his BASANTY but def inately there is an attraction strong enough to rock any volcano, pulpating between papa and his FIRST love.He pampers his cars more thn he ever pampered his wife.
SO blessed with such environmental passion for driving and cars i couldnt wait to put my hands on wheels, and experience the rush of adrenaline. U guys just cant imagine how i craved for the moment...
Anyways 1 day i approached my bro and in the most honeyed voice i ever could muster i called him
bhai.....(he didnt realize it was him im calling cuz of sudden rush of love and sweetness in my voice)
my sweetest bro....(i mumbled again ..2 no avail)
grrrrrrrrrr ammirrrrrrrrrr......(i shrieked, this time he looked up frm the HOLY BOOK ABT CRICKET)
ARE you talking to me seb?
yes ..obviously i dont remember mom giving birth 2 ur twin and giving him the same name as yours.
tell me that earth is shattering ...or saddam hussain is back for his pound of flesh or sharukh is selling QULFI outside our house? whts the reason of soo much sweetness in your voice?
i wanna learn how 2 drive.....(i unraveled the suspense)
u want what?
yeah u drive me nuts..... all the time what do u wanna learn now?(he chuckled)
( ANYWAYS with all the threats and promises dangling on his head, acceptance was the better part of valour .and he then said
ET TU SHYLOCK!...DOST THOU TOO WANT THY POUND OF FLESH!........................THEN THOU WILL GET IT!!!!!!1.
next morning i was awake before the saath waloon kaa murghaa and was hovering on his head at 5 am in the morning.
its time bro wake up !
time for what?my time 2 have a meeting with GOD oh know cant be?
no time 4 sm driving lessons
after a lot of sycophancy and threatening i menaged to drag 1 sleepyhead to the car.
I sat on the driving seat, and could feel the rush of excitement,adrenaline shooting 2wards my head.I could imagine that, why this male specie is so possessive abt there cars and why they think that there cars r there prized possession.and how difficult it is for them to exchange there throne with us girls .
i remembered the holy mantras and while chanting these ishlokes i started the engine 1 nasty growl and it ws dead and 1 deadly look by my bro and i was ALMOST dead. I started again and after 4th try he(engine) finally had mercy on my poor soul so it started ...
put the car in gear D and push the accelrator slowly........(it ws automatic transmission).
i swear i did that but nuthing happened after lots of fitful tries and murdering glares finally the car lurched ffwd
In my excitement i hit the accelrator soo hard and like a rocket it defied the gravity of earth and we went up sorry went ahead and out of nowhere, i promise it wsant there before in my past 18 years of existance a TREE popped up
BRAKEEEEEEEEEEEEE ..HIT ON BRAKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE U FOOL
i tried to find brake, but to my dismay i couldnt find anything hard underneath my feet so tried to find tht thing called break and in this confusion i hit the A fr accelrator so hard
thud....screachhhh bhommmm ...bahhhhhh,thuuuuuuuuuddddddddd
these were the voices i heard the result of the collision A CLASH OF TITANS between the car and the stupid tree.
my head was exploding trying to find smthing heroic and courageous to muster but couldnt find anything like that so i cried.....
goshhhhhh ...the tree menaged to hit us ...we r being hit......(i started screaming and as usual lost control on my grammer)
no the tree didnt hit us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn u !!!!!!!!!!!!u are the 1 who banged in to the tree ...what the hell u think u were driving some STAR WAR SHIP ???????????????(wrds were coming out in puffed breaths from his mouth).
i started crying with more emotion and devotion somebody came and asked him
what happened and why are you scolding the poor kid what did she do ?
nuthing...... she didnt do anything !!!!!!!!!the tree ran towards us.......... and banged itself in to our car ...and i happen 2 b the CARETAKER OF NATURE ....so was just mourning for the martyr(in a crisis like that his wits turned razor sharp...i couldnt help enjoying).
anyways now the biggest issue at that moment was how to avoid the cops cuz its a serious offence to learn driving without the LEARNERS LISCENCE so my dear brother literally had to bow down to ppl gathered around us to keep there mouths shut .and thn we came back home after the debacle.:(((((((
Needless to tell u guys that what happened afterwards ........shhhhhhhhhhhh ....all of u girls can imagine how mean brothers can get .......
After a year of this nightmare i finally enrolled my self in 2 the driving school and had my liscence(thats another horror story which i will narrate sm other time)and now i drive with all the devotion and passion.And each time i hold the steeringwheel in my hands i feel the same kind of excitement and thrill rushing through my veins .
SO THAT WAS HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLED.......
Posted by sebia ::
11:18 PM ::
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