Eternal Bliss
Wednesday
Sebias nerves according to ADORABLE(an enemy in the disguise of friend)Today a friend asked me a favour..he wanted to have some pun fun on my behalf,by trashing me grrrrrr with friend like him who needs enemy:(( but anyways though im hating every line of it but i found it really hilarious so posting it as per his wish...and always remember 1 thing deplorable,adorable REVENGE IS SWEET..i will crucify u infront of all ur nubile nymphets and lady loves...u wait and watch...fisting my hands for an attack..
ok here it goes
Sebias nerves according to Adorable(God knows by whom)
1. announces "main aa gayee" ( as if no1 can see)
2. brandishes her sword at every possible instance( how many times have i told her not to carry dat sword o cigarette paper around.. she looks kinna kinky wid dat in her hand)
3. advertisement of her blog {show me 1 IT-zen who doesnt know abt her blog ..u have no choice buddies u must visit sebias-shrine on a regular basis
4. commentomania (love it or not u must comment at her blog.. the comment must be long and thr have to be a word or two abt her skills)
5. her ofxrdo english ! "2brn2b""hai aur bhi sukhanwar duniya me kai achche .. kahte hai ke sebia ka hai andaz e bayaan aur"
6. the intermittent doses o urdu shayari ..."kah do meer o ghalib se wo sadi tumhari thee ye sadi "sebia" ki hai". have to admit tho that shes gud at it .. only if u are able to understand wot shes trying to convey (berty happy reading)
7. "I the people" attitude a proud narcissist !! {when she talks every1 has to listen..dunt u dare try talkin abt urself when with her}.
8. blogomania-read others blogs too {"its hilarious"- god knows whr .. "its funny" .. how}"wo kahte hai ke pado jaker .. koi batlaye ke padne ko hai kya"
9. meet john doe {u have to meet her friends .. no matter wot ..n trust her .. her friends are the "best"
10. kindred soul... dont u dare utter a word or flirt with her ...sistas ... dottys .. god knows .. da entire gal crowd o IT is her clan ..
A-DO.n Quixote!!
Well thot wud pen down a few "nerves" o da gurl whoz a bundle o energy... raw TNT ... cud explode anytime ... hope i am alive to see the light o dayafter yapping abt her .. .. god save the soul god save ado ...
AND NOBDY CAN SAVE HIM NOW.THE FURY IS UNLEASHED .....
Sunday
I HAVE GOT ONLY 1 NERVE LEFT ,AND U ARE STEPPING ON IT:)There are certain habits of people which though may be un intentional by them but can cause havoc with other persons sanity, even if that sanity is cliched ...
1,NOSE PICKING:----
There should be a law, allowing 2 slap people doing this highly unintriguing activity...that day in a shopping mall 1 female was drilling her nose trying 2 find some gold in there ,and then dangg.....she found it, so she started examining her prescious FIND, with all the concentration she could muster, putting EINSTEIN 2 SHAME... and then she threw it away...for the other humble mortals to bless themselves, with the undeniable pleasure. and started questing for another diamond in there.and the concentration could put all the gold diggers to shame.The activity went on and on and onnnnnnnnnn....
2,CHEWING BUBBLE GUMS:-----
Another highly irritating job ,people chewing bubble gums, putting all the goats and cows to shame ..and talking in between 2 the other person oblivious of the effect they are causing with there sing swing jaw motion and slurp slurp noises....and if its nt enough they start making bubbles outta them .U are talking 2 smbdy, and with great difficulty u r concentrating on swing dwing jaw muscles and suddenly a BUBBLE (not of joy)bursts infront of ur face and thn tht person will roll his/her tongue and wrapp the bubble gum back (with all the salt,and perspiration..)back in the mouth....after all its there own mouth nobdy elses...
3,SPITTING:---
People reacts differently during the excitement phase...different ways to express...some of them when excited can even give u a shower(not of ganga jal) while talking 2 u..regardless of your already showered and perfumed state.
and worst is when they are eating PAANS uff even if u r blessing urself with this sinful pleasure ,no need to paint the town RED... and worst no need to spit red on the other person..spitting venom is better ...
4,STINK.O.MANIA:---
Some people just dont beleive in nirvana of fresh breath and beleive in anaesthecizing others with there toxic fumigated breaths...such persons when open there mouths i only wanna scream to GEORGE BUSH ...2 cm ...ur WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION are right hereeeeee......
5,TOXICATING THE WORLD:---
Some people have got all the answers for everything..so there answer to superpowers and there nuclear bombs lies in a chemical bomb,made and manufactured solely by there own hard work and devotion called FARTING AND BURPING...they can cause such catastrophies which can leave all the SHOCK AND AWE bombing far far behind.....after all its so true
The fire of 1 mans tummy,can burn the happiness of 100s with its wrath:)
6,FORCED FAMILIARITY:----.
People showering there love and expressions by hugs and cheeky kisses...damn so many times i tell people that HUGS GIMME BUGS......and people eating my breathing space should be blown away with the cannon balls...and specially when those people arent the beleivers of heaven of fragrance...using deodrant is a sin nt to b indulged in 4 thm...daily showers is a crime punishable with lashes fr thm......:((that day the lady in the parlour who was cutting my hair almost took me to the joy ride of stinking hell...and fumigated me with a not so blissful STINKKKKKKKKKKKK...
6,SOUND BLASTERS:-----
Your neighbours listening 2 sm atrocious rockband,at 2 am in the morning nuthing can b more agonizing then enduring MICHAEL JACKSON lullabying u 2 eternal bliss of sleepless havoc..with the sound level which can cause mayhem in the city of dead even...so u toss and turn and turn and decide to take the shelter of cotton candy but still no avail...u can actually feel the drummings inside ur head ...all u wanna do at tht time after twisting turning in ur bed fr eons is to plug those people to 440 watts socket until they r nicely shaken and stirred for causing all the electrifying insanity....
7,LAUGHING MADNESS:-----
No offence 2 any specific person and dont take it personally but its so true that laughter which can act as a soothing pill for some ailing hearts can also act as poison ivy for sm not so fragile ears as well..SM PEOPLE ARE BLESSED WITH A GIGGLE SO SHRILL,WHICH RESEMBLES A DENTIST DRILL,MY REQUEST 2 THM IS TO GET A CHILL PILL,AND WORK ON IT TILL,IT RESEMPLES A NIGHTINGALES PRILL...:)cuz it really matters for the other persons refind state of sanity...
8,DRIVING ME NUTS:----
Some people dance..sorry drive on erratic tunes while listening to mobile fone,thinking of doing a balancing or juggling act on rope or thinking they are performing some item no ,trying to match there latkas and jhatkas with some hotpot bollywood extra..going zigzag on the road,taking padestrian,poles,cars and everything sometimes and taken by themm most of the times...beleiving tht the earth is actually carpeted with roads for there sole amusement and rest of the species driving on it r just sm useless mosquitoes needs to b wiped out frm the earth...those ppl shuld b hanged on the tree and slapped by all whoever they rubbed wrong...and yeah there mobile fones shuld b hanged till death where they can ring till eternity...
9,BITCHING AND BACKBITING:---
I dont know why people indulge in 2 maliscious gossips and enjoy shredding others to thin spaghetties..o baba in the modern so bz world nobody is interested in what POOJA DID TO DOOJA and why HARRY MET SALLY ...im not even interested in why my neighbours hen eloped with the other neighbours dog, and what haircolour mohan use to dye his moustache..
so pls LIVE AND LET LIVE,DIE IF U WISH BUT DONT LIE TO MAKE THEM DIE...
in todays wrld nobdy appreciates BAGHAL MAIN CHUREE(KNIFE)MOON MAIN RAM RAAM.....
So folks these were one of few things which though comes last in the hiararchy of significant stuff in life...but these small things or gestures can play havoc with the refined sanity and patience of others....
and yeah they r strictly and solely my judgements ..if u develop any kinda stomach pain while digesting them..no need to cm back here and spit them out...use ur own garbage to do tht cuz....
I have only 1 nerve left ,and you are already spitting sorry stepping on IT:)
Wednesday
MUSINGS FROM A FEVERISH OXYMORONFrom past 1 week i am trying 2 finish a post ,but theres this fever of mine which keeps on coming back 2 me,guess its getting addicted of me cant stay away from me for more then a day.
It envokes 2 kinda reactions in me some times i am 2 hyper,just unstoppable screaming ,dancing w/t any rhyme and reason.a demon in me coaxes me to hop on a roller coaster ride of baseless yapping and blabber.and most hilarious stuff i dont know after the fit is over tht wht did i yanked about,my family members and friends tell me tht i screamed such uncognizable stuff..good fr me tht i dont remember hence cant feel the embaressment.
The other reaction is much 2 dangerous.it simply throws me in 2 a stoic silence,like a lull before a storm ,i can feel my soul sitting outside and infront,it has no reflection but it can cast shadows.a void,forlorn dark spell,i want to touch it feel it but it has no shape it just exists there and lost nowhere ,a shadow which weeps fr no reason ,a spirit which griefs for no pain.
I am in that mood now so i wanna write some urdu poetry
Qaid main hai meri rooh
kisii roazen ki khuwahish nahin
iss zindaan main hai bhutaknaa
kissi massehaa ki aas nahin,
iss junoon main hai sukoon
inhii wehshatoon main hai aarzoo
issi jusstajujoo main hoon tures rehi
kisi saayey ki ab talaash nahin,
sukoot-e-shab main dhoondhoo
subeh-e-kiran ki tujallian,
wairaan raahoon main ab
kissi hamnafas ki piyaas nahin,
meray hoontoon pay ruqsaan hain,
kuch lou daity say nouhay,
ek jag beetaa,shumma ko jaltay
ab kisi our mautem ki taab nahin.
meri rooh piyasi kehty hai kuch yaadasht purani
kuch khoon say kuch aanssoo say likhi thee ek derd kahani
kuch jugnoo, kuch mottii,kuch kuch titli kuch paani
sub kuch to kho bhaitay,ab kahan ki moojoon ki rawani...
abhi kuch teer baaqi hai sayaad kay turkish main
tulatum beet chuka phir bhi samander main abhi baaqi hay tughiani....
will understand later tht wht have i written whn out of this mood ..i hope u ppl had enough patience to read through the gibberish of a feverish oxymoron....
after getting back 2 normality will finish the humorous post im wrking on....
Monday
VEIL OF FROZEN SHADOWSI look in the mirror , i see a reflection there,
staring in2 mah eyes
a hollow reflection,hauntening serenity
or a blissful nightmare....
i close mah eyes,and bask in the dreams,
all unclaimed,weaving the shadows so blazed
i try 2 touch my pain
but find no scars r there....
i see my coffin,my tattered body in white
my soul so shattered yet so divine
holding in 2 her womb
the grief and happiness entwined...
i lie i cheat ,i swear
for the pain ,i pray no 1 should bear
that was the first fret of my guitar
pain which is the essence
twisting,churning,screaming
but still i find it dear.......
Sunday
ANGER..THE ORIGINAL SIN..WHICH BECAME A CURSE FOR MANKINDDev:---anitaa...sign on these papers..im getting late.
Anita:---no dev..i wont, this is the last piece of property left .and this is for my
daughters future..i cant put that on stake...just for the whims and greed
OF your parents..(screams anita)
Dev:----u better sign anitaa....or get ready 2 bear the consequences......and dont u dare say anything about my parents...u ugly bitch...belonging 2 filthy people..
anita:---(slaps dev)i will never sign these paper ...i hate u ..u good for nuthing man(lots of abuses followed........
dang.....bang...a gun shot..a loud noise...a bullet passed through anitas heart...
papa u cant do this.....(a lil girl started fighting him screaming loudly...
dang ....bang...another gun shot...a small gust of blood....and the bullet pass through the innocent child....
dev:__ oh godddd...what the hell have i done....screams..
dang...bang...another shot followed
..another life gone..this time the life of the man who burnt his own happiness by his anger..death rang its horrid symphony and took away 3 lives...in the ashes ,burnt all the unfullfilled desires and unproclaimed dreams..... that was the actual incident which took place some time ago here and which still haunts me after all those years.
ANGER THE ORIGINAL SIN....WHICH..TURNED IN 2 A CURSE ..
ANGER as defined by Thomas acquins:--
Name of a passion,a passion of a sensetive appetite,is good in so far
as it is regulated by reason,whereas it is evil ,if it sets the order of reason aside.
Anger an amalgam of suppressed emotions,if channelized properly it can become a driving force.but if it passes the realms of reason it can become a destruction unlimited..
Great attrocicities..attributed 2 crazed men HITLER ,STALIN all the terrorists are the outcome of this emotion...even ordinary men can become evil enough 2 bulldoze others..thousands of germans gathered together and executed millions of jews just 2 satiate this demon called ANGER..
Whats happening in palestine and iraq is all this respressive anger creating havoc and reducing the mankind to the last pathoes of degradation.
On the contrary jews used this anger as there driving force a motivational spark...when they were literally wiped out from the world map..they bounced back like the phoenix that rose from the ashes.
In STAR WARS PART 3 there was a message which hit me pretty badly
all the while ANIKEN..SKY WALKER was so scared to lose his lady love,so much so that he was having visions abt losing her 2 death.... he turned to dark side and became DARTH VADER just to protect her from clutches of death..and in the end .....killed her himself cuz of this very emotion which had became a curse by then...what a poetic justice....thats the way the story weaves.
We all need catharesis..if we keep on suppressing our emotions and needs they become bottled up and like a volcano when they erupt ,they do, then hell hath no fury than the uncorked bottle of fury ;)...those of us who can elevate themselves to the heights of restrain and manages to channelize their anger as a constructive force are real heroes that is real jehad a war against ones own demons and anger ,ones own self not to fall victim of this curse...which is nurturing deep inside all of us..
"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
Friday
HUNK QUESTLike all girls i have a secret corner for mills and boon romances ,that one day i will meet the prince charming and then the earth will move ,and the stars will dance ,in an orchestrated melody, tht is not just an hackneyed line but the basic truth of every females existance.
Finding the prince charming is much more difficult then finding the weapons of mass destruction in IRAQ ,and my cause is much more worthy and difficult then that of GEORGE BUSH.
Let me first describe my hero in sheer filmi shtyle so tht u ppl reading there atleast have sm fair idea abt the HOLY CAUSE.
1, he should be tall--thts a must--so that i dont have to go breaking my bones whenever i need smthing from the topdrawer or sm forbidden fruits frm the neighbours tree.
2,Looks shuld b in sync with arjun rampall atleast cuz i dont think PIERSEBROSNON can b reincarnated(though if he decides to cm i will happily throw my humble throne to dust) .
The list is endless and im not gonna indulge in to wht i want and why i want.ANY ways sm time back ,blessed with teenage madness, me and my cousin, who is usually the accomplice in my every crime ,decided ,to find the hunks fr ourselves .wht followed was the most hilarious series of events ,which can put bridget jones diary to shameful heap.
AND then like a true blessing a book landed on our lap from the skies above called
LOVE POTIONS AND SPELLS---POTIONS TO HELP U FIND UR MAN .
bingo--
that book look liked sm holy book at tht point and time, an answer for our all unsaid prayers.So v opened the book with all the devotion v could muster ,
lit the fire ,throw rosemarry ,jasmine,and poppy seed
along with the mans lock of hair then say the prayers
OH DEAR FIRE
HELP US TO QUENCH OUR DESIRE
WE NEED A MAN OF OUR RESPECTIVE DREAMS
TO MAKE OUR LIFES A BEAUTIFUL STREAM
O HOLY FIRE HELP ME .
1 look at this rediculous stuff and i chickened out .
no sebia u cant go back ....
an exasperated serene moaned .
yes i can ---what a suspecious looking stuff ==i grumbled ...
cmon RANJHA gave the flesh of his thigh when he culdnt catch fish for HEER 2 eat, atleast v can mumble sm potions to get the HUNK of our dreams.
and then she made the most innocent face with the famous look
U LOVE ME NA
and heck i couldnt resist the emotional blackmailing
so armed with that book we started the HOLY WAR.
Now the most difficult thing, wht the heck ,from where can v get jasmine,poppy seeds and rosemary herb this is just not possible .
sebia u r trying to unconsciously discourage us?
no serene im consciously trying 2 discourage us.
anyways v ended up putting oregano-sm fenugreek seeds and garlic powder
sat in the lawn, wearing moms best KANJIWERM SAREES
and then v started mumblong the mantras
oh holy fire:help us find the prince of our dreams-guide him directly 2 land on our patio directly from the skies above like (sm alien UFO).
with all the devotion we could muster we were chanting those ASHLOKES .
ahem ahem--excuseme(sm noises--sm thing ruffled there)
Can u hear smthing?...(an excited serene nudged me)
NO i cant im bz devoting my soul to HOLY CAUSE.
OPEN ur eyes seb i think destiny have answered our prayers :::
Iopened my eyes slowly---
yes there were 2 things standing in the patio---i tried to focus more---OH MY GOD they looked like guys -- and they were 2 in number (i culdnt beleive our luck---- so i tried 2 focus more and then realized tht
there WERE not swords in there hands.... the KNIGHTS.... were holding
infact ....
they were holding
BROOMS .............................can u beleive it
excuseme madam !::
v r here to clean the water tanks and gutters by muncipal committee..........
thud thud dhum ----------------------------
all the dream castle crashed .
Few days passed serene came back holding the CURSED BOOK .
NOTagain plsssss have mercy on my soul--i moaned
SEB i have got a fool proof plan this time it cant go bad ....
nooo
noo
noo
pls .....
pls
pls
after this rhetoric as usual i said ok princess do as u wish
let us fry our brains in ur HOLY FIRE.
NO SEB this time its v simple
v just need to put the oil mixed with all the potions on our heads
and then put the special flowers
and sing ..................
we tried to find JASMINE OIL but couldnt so decided to put SARSON(man it ws stinky)couldnt find all the exotic flowers so put sm roses and stuff(though she was insisting in wearing us sm ICEBURG LETTUCE cuz the name ws v exotic matching the flowers described there .and then v chanted again.
Fr the sake of all this
from wht v r going through
when v open our eyes
we find the love so true
standing right there in our patio.
chant chant v were chanting with all the expression .
tring tring ............
whts this ?
i think the bell is ringing
SEB pls open THE DOOR i think our prayers r answered .........
GRRR serene isnt it toooooo soon ..............
IM nt in a condition 2 meet the GUNGU TAILII even ...how can i meet the prince charming?.........
SEB do tht pls ..................
anyways i went to open the door
looking like SUNFLOWER gumla(Pot )with dripping sunflower oil and there on the door was my worst nightmare ....
..............MOST GOOD LOOKING HUNK i have ever cm across was standing ..
It ws v amusing for me tht i was starring in 2 nightmares at 1 time MINE AND !!!!!!!!!!!!!HIS ..........
both of us needed shock treatment
ME ---fr finding the most good looking person ever incarnated and delivered right infront of my door steps.
HIM ---for seeing such a creature---directly popped down frm amazon--looking like over grown FLOWER GARDEN.
Nuthing could b worse to creep in 2 prick the bubble of my exciting drama
AHEM ahem !!!!!!!!!!!!
i gt out of my trance and to my dismay i lost my speaking powers
i tried to spk
nuthing came out except fr sm muffled voices
EXCUSEME --(the most husky voice)(i ever heard) !!!!!!!!!!!
GRR r brrr aan (sm un identified sounds came out of my throat). ......
totally bugged by me
he lost his cool...
CAN I SEE ANY SANE PERSON AROUND?!!!!!!!!
popped serene frm behind--and THANKGOD she ws still blessed with her speaking powers and SANITY as well
WELL nobdy at home if u want to see bhai he will cm back laters----said serene in most honeyed voice!!!!!!!!!!!
AND HE LEFT SHAKING HIS HEAD
.........v found 1 hunk after all the toll and he just left like tht......................
THE QUEST IS STILL ON AFTER ALL THESE YEARS.
.Some other time i will take u guys for the joyride ,on the quest ,the series of other incidents.
Though when meturity embarked upon us we realized that theres no MR PERFECT or nobdy descends from the skies just like that.
TO BE CONTINUED.........................
That day in order 2 amuse myself,i was punctuating my thoughts ,with some silly stuff...i-e. .
What if i was born as :-------
Enjoy some mindless ,nonsense yappings by me:))
1,What if i was born as KADOO(GOURD)?
Ans...Then i would have flirted with BHINDI shamelessly ,and aunty FOOL GOBHI would have committed suicide out of sheer jealousy:)...
2,What if i was a mango?
Ans...Then mom would have plucked me....and ...grrrr..zrrrrr... squeezed a MANGO MILK SHAKE out of me...
3,What if i was a MICROWAVE OVEN?
ANS..Would have never allowed SEBIA to warm those sinful,bursting with calories good fr nuthing CINNABONS...
4,What if i was a MIRROR on SEBIAS WALL?
Ans...Would have shattered long ago...after listening 2 the same q 100 times every day
MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL
WHO IS THE PRETTIEST OF ALL?
5,What if i was a cupid?
Ans...Would have made GEORGE BUSH and BIN laden fall for each other long ago
...(A GAY union to spread some gay RE UNION.
6.What if i was GEORGE BUSH?
Ans..Would have gone 2 PLANET OF THE APES...for the lost kinship...
7,What if i was a LICE?
Ans..Would have played havoc in Saddam hussains, good for nuthing brains.....
8,What if i was SEBIAS mother??
ans..Would have stop beleiving that MALE SPECIE gonna extinct from mother earth...and stop pesturing her to marry the first thing called MALE coming her way..
9,What if i ws a FERRARI :?
ans...Would have chucked SCHUMMI out for his bad performance...and romanced ALONSOO...:)))
10,What if i was a chat administrator:?
ANS..Would have never allowed anybody 2 chat w/t commenting on my blog:))
11.,What if i was HOCUS POCUS?
Would have lost all my focus..
(after seeing IT beauties).
12,What if i was an ITCHA DHAARI NAAGEN(Snake who can change face after 100 yrs)?
Ans...Would have acted in all PIERCE BROSNON movies...and danced NAAGEN NAAGEN ...THERE:))..
10,What if i was a tear?
Would have rolled down ,taking all the misery along..kissing the melancholy off from every bodys life.
